Can we talk about critical problems? That is, when being critical of yourself or others we may harm more than we help, compounding issues and missing huge opportunities.
In our lives and encounters with others, we notice behaviors that disappoint and, let’s say, room for improvement. What if, instead of joining the judgey chorus of superior spectators, we actually aimed to help and grow?
People are fascinating, complex, and vastly different. We all have unique strengths, quirks, and stories. And the first problem with being critical, whether spoken or unspoken, is you lose connection and the ability to learn or influence. It’s a positional thing. Move from criticism to curiosity and first find a way to relate, person to person.
The second issue with being critical is you miss the magic. What I mean is you become blind to someone’s strengths or gifts that are simply different from yours. Start from the premise that you can learn something from everyone, and you will find yourself right more often than not. Notice and name their strengths so they can know and claim them.
The third problem with being critical is it totally backfires. Instead of shifting behavior, we discourage and disempower others. They may be earnestly striving, or having a bad day, or may simply be uninformed or new. Criticism is lazy. Can you actually encourage and help them improve?
When it comes down to it, there are only two ways we can help shift someone’s understanding or behavior: By our example and by our influence. So start with you, then take genuine interest in others. And as you do, you may discover your role isn’t commentator, but activator. And right now, that may be critically important. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.
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