Warning! This week’s video may feel confrontational, as I’m about to question a long-held belief. But this reality-based strategy will help you rise to a meet a new challenge – and rise above emotional obstacles.
Warning! This video may be confrontational because I’m about to question something you may have believed all your life.
We’re Off Balance on Purpose in Georgia.
We all get angry, resentful, or scared. You may believe that however you feel, emotionally, is simply a function of what happens to you, and you just have to deal with it. In reality, you select your emotions to protect yourself and to manage your
relationships and environment. You probably don’t do this consciously, but we all default to emotional presets that we’ve learned through experience and observation. The problem is, what you think is best, natural, or justified doesn’t always improve the situation.
For example, let’s say you’re about to try something new and you get nervous, or even scared. Now what really happened is you experienced heightened internal energy and uncertainty, which is understandable. I mean, this matters to you. But you didn’t really “get nervous.” You selected “nervousness” from a range of possibilities. By claiming nervousness, you lower your expectations, insulating yourself from failure. Tell enough other people that you’re nervous, and they expect less as well. By being a victim of your emotions, you actually take off some of the pressure to perform. But you also put yourself in a less resourceful mindset, all but ensuring a self-fulfilling flat effort.
Faced with the same situation and feelings, you can choose to interpret them differently. Select the emotion “energized,” or “excited.” Or acknowledge that these feelings mean that this matters. So select “focused.” You may also ask how other justifiable emotions may actually protect and serve you. Or absolve you from accepting responsibility. Why are you doing that? And what might be some other better options?
For instance, when someone angers you, you can also pity them for living a life so shallow. If you’re thinking right now, “Dan I can’t help but feel how I feel.” Well I get it. It’s really difficult to interrupt emotional presets, requires self-awareness, honesty, and work. But I care about you, your future and your ability to create rather than suffer. And to own and shape your
life starts with knowing that you have emotional options from which to choose.
Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.