We’ve all lost, or will lose, someone we love. This two minute video will help you better process your grief and help others who are living with loss during the holidays. It’s advice you might not expect but will use for a lifetime.
P.S. Watch to the end for a personal tribute.
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The most wonderful time of the year is, for some, the most painful time of the year. How do you process and respond to grief? This week we’re Off Balance On Purpose in Chicago.
We’ve all lost, or will lose, someone we love. Maybe it was years ago. Perhaps, it just happened. The pain is real, deep, and personal. And part of the way through it is to understand that “grief” has a good side. Love fills us up and reveals our capacity for caring. Loving relationships are like building beautiful sculptures of experiences, memories and emotions. And everything in life has a counterbalance. If you were to take an object, like this sculpture, and press it into clay, the negative impression of it’s form will be equal in scale and beauty. Remove the positive, and what you’re left with a gaping hole – a void of that which you once held in your hand.
Look, I’m not here trying to tell you how to process your grief, or to pretend that I have your answer. But I believe we need to recast the sculpture. Use the hole as a form. Fill it with stories. Joyful memories, retold and recaptured. Fill it with faith and true appreciation for the time shared, deeply experienced, and enjoyed. Rather than trying to eliminate grief, or characterize it as a bad thing, try to see it as “Good Grief.” The depth of the pain reveals the beauty of the love. Savor it, even as it changes over time.
When you encounter someone who’s experiencing a loss, ask them to tell you about their loved one. Give them a chance to bring their memories to life, and to re-sculpt their reality– turning grief into gratitude. As you move through these holidays, turn up your awareness of others’ circumstances. It’s not all happy celebrations, but it is an opportunity to have genuine, healing, and positive connections, even in the midst of pain. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.
In loving memory of our Nona June.
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