Heartbreak comes in many forms, including the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a current reality, or an expected future. The more you love and appreciate what is, the more you are devastated when it’s gone. So, from Aurora, Colorado, let’s talk about how the hurt gets better.

Loss and grief are universal human experiences you will encounter not once, but repeatedly. It’s a deeply personal process with five distinct stages. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

While it seems necessary to encounter each step of this process, you can move through them more deliberately. And the sooner you do, the more capable you are of helping others with their respective heartbreaks. So let’s address these stages and their eventual conclusions.

1. Denial – You don’t believe this is happening and hope that an “undo” button is within reach. When you recognize it is real and irreversible you move to … 

2. Anger – You lash out at whatever you think caused or contributed to what feels like a deeply personal assault. Letting it out, you eventually realize this isn’t about you.

3. Bargaining – You still think you can control this, or minimize the most difficult aspects, regaining some semblance of what was. But there is no going back, only forward.

4. Depression – You feel awful, but at least you feel something. Your misery is justified and in a weird way, comforting and difficult to let go of until you reach…

5. Acceptance – You resolve to continue and recommit, incorporating the lessons and strength you’ve earned by experiencing something difficult.

You will encounter this process many times, in different forms and degrees, with seemingly small changes, as well as huge losses. Knowing this, you can in time learn to minimize the most painful or limiting stages to more quickly gain the empowering gifts. As always, please share this with someone who might benefit, and until next week stay Off Balance On Purpose.

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