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My heart is heavy in Pennsylvania. This week our family said goodbye to our dog Simon, who was fourteen. You may know how tough such a moment can be. But you don’t yet know this story, the lessons, or ways this beautiful dog changed me. You see, loving Simon was far from simple.
Simon was a traumatized puppy rescued from an animal abuser who was hoarding and whipping dogs, among other evils. Over a dozen were saved, four were deceased, and the culprit went to prison.
Simon bonded at first glance with my wife, Shay, who told me, “I think I’m supposed to have him.” He deeply loved her. He tolerated the kids. But me? Not so much. Not only did he resist my reach. He feared me. When returning from a speaking trip or even the mailbox, he barked, then hid, because “that guy” came back again.
I was frustrated and resented this stubborn animal who didn’t understand I was a good guy. Without exaggeration, it took five years to build a loving relationship.
I had to change first. Instead of “entitled owner,” becoming a curious student. I read books, learned techniques, and spent time just sitting with Simon creating a connection. At home, he learned to be in the same room with me. But outside, we became adventure buddies. He began to look to me for guidance through uncertainty: New places. New people and dogs. New experiences. And eventually we brought that bond home with us. When he finally leaned into my loving touch, it was so worth it. Simon had the softest, fluffiest fur.
What can we learn from Simon? First, don’t give up on important relationships. Get curious. Aggression and ugliness are often covers for pain, insecurity, and fear. What don’t you yet understand? Are you willing to change first? Spend the time to start over, perhaps away from the scene of the problem.
I miss you Simon. You were a good boy. A chronic over thinker, but only because you were so smart, so aware, and so damaged. Thank you for letting us love you and learn from you. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.
The audio for this week’s coaching video is located under the “Get Inspired” tab in the Positive Playlist . You can subscribe to the podcast and listen to other weekly messages for improving all aspects of your life.