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Stop Pretending

Growing up in Chicago, we didn’t have Nintendo. But we did have imaginations. Case in point: the summer of 1980. I was 12 years old when several of the kids from my inner city neighborhood spontaneously decided to build a boat that we would one day sail upon Lake Michigan. Why not?Lonely Sailing Boat

Every day we gathered in my back yard (a 28 foot wide lot), bringing scrap lumber, hammers, and nails from our garages. There we hammered away, designing as we went. We asked our mothers to save empty milk jugs that we planned to use for additional “flotation.” Fueled by PBJs and lemonade, we spun stories of our eventual voyage while pounding and playing under the sweaty summer sun.

At the end of the summer, we all went home. The boat was torn apart. There was no voyage. And no one was surprised or disappointed. You see, although it was never spoken, we all knew we would never sail. We had just been pretending.

The Art of Pretending

Imagination is a powerful tool. By simply slipping on an alternate view of reality or a potential future, we can enable wonderful experiences and results that would otherwise be impossible. But when we “live there,” substituting imagination for reality, we enter a far less fun condition: self-deception.

At times, we all are pretending that we are making progress in our lives – getting healthier, developing our talents, completing our projects, or advancing in our careers. But does the evidence support the proclamations? Or are we, like my neighborhood friends, simply “building a boat?” Distracting ourselves with fanciful diversions while we are passing the time.

From Pretending to Intending

In order for progress to occur, we must move from the imagination phase to the mode of intention – Deliberate, logical action that is congruent with our dream. At this phase, a random plan (miscellaneous boards and milk jugs) reveals itself to be unseaworthy. We must step up our game, refine our efforts, and consult those who really know what they’re doing.

Intention starts with our words – statements of our desires and questions to reveal shortcomings. Intention is based in reality, not fantasy. As the work progresses, it brings failure, frustration, then (eventually) form to the desire.

Intention changes everything, and yet it is not enough. “Intending” can go on indefinitely. Achievement requires at least one more transition – beyond the mode of intending to that which is “impending.”

Impending

Impending means “approaching, forthcoming, about to happen.” This is no longer a “some day” proposition. The reality of a deadline, a test, diminishing resources, or an expiration date brings the challenge and the work clearly into focus.

Breakthroughs generally require a sense of urgency.  This can be thrust upon us (as impending doom or impending opportunity), or it can be created through our own commitments.

Into Action

  1. Are you pretending? Enjoy the playtime, or get real. Decide.
  2. Once you are seriously intending, realize you have a lot to learn and accomplish. Get busy.
  3. Want to succeed? Create an “impending” scenario. What’s the end game? What’s the deadline? Start the clock.

Summers are perfect for imagination. Pretend. Boat building. However, we must evolve our thinking and our approach if we are ever to sail upon the winds of accomplishment.

  • Wes Dellinger says:

    Perfect message / perfect timing – thanks once again Dan.

  • Barbara Myers says:

    Well said, Dan. Very inspiring.

  • Waldo says:

    Excellent Dan. it’s all about action.

    Now – if you can only juggle (full) milk jugs – now THAT would really drive the point home.

    Waldo

  • L. Wofford says:

    I really needed this message today. Very timely in several areas of my life.

  • Elaine says:

    Good read! Thanks, Dan

  • Mary Lewis says:

    Thank you again for your uplifting message..
    You always come to an important point by way of an entertaining life lessons. Thanks again.

  • Sam Lee says:

    I went from Pretending to Action a few months ago. In my case a friend recommended a Tony Robins book, Money, Master The Game that drove me to around the clock note taking and intense daily study and accomplishments. This created immediate growth and results that are still working beautifully. We each need a trigger to get us from Pretending to Action. Now what other area of life needs Action and what will be my trigger?

  • Dan Thurmon says:

    Thanks for the feedback everyone. I’m glad that this post was on time and on target for many of you. Really appreciate hearing the specific example Sam of how this concept is taking shape in your life. That’s helpful to all of us as we search for the triggers that will help us ratchet up our plans and commitment levels. Keep ’em coming!

  • I really like the steps you laid out: imagining, intending, impending and doing (or actionable tasks). I think it’s important to dream and imagine but also important to follow through if you want your dream to become a reality. Thanks for this post!

  • Foluke Areola. says:

    God bless.Great as usual.Very useful as I just retired from work after the mandatory years of Service.I know I am moving to Greater Heights and a brighter future. The steps would definitely help

  • Kathy Schultz says:

    The eldest daughter is in the wee beginnings of “intending” phase of launching a new business of travel/nature conservation/ocean diving/sponsorships, etc. Getting her business plan together right now. I will be forwarding this blogpost to her. Good to catch up with you and your thoughts via internet. Daughter is a big dreamer and a brave doer (takes after her daddy, Ken), so your wisdom and your own path to “success” will be an inspiration to her.

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