Conversations happen at various levels and in relationship to our challenges and circumstances. In your most important relationships, where do you spend the majority of your talk time? Consider leveling up this five rung ladder.
At what level do you currently engage with others? Let’s look at how we might elevate our conversations.
Conversations happen at various levels and in relationship to our challenges and circumstances. In your most important relationships, where do you spend the majority of your talk time? Consider leveling up this five rung ladder.
Level 1. Confrontation. Sometimes confrontation is necessary. But as a default, it is win-lose, self-protective, and ego driven: Claiming credit. Assigning blame. Issuing orders. This level promotes defensiveness and circular or dead end dialogue.
Level 2. Situation. What are we dealing with? What might we both do about it? As the Japanese proverb says, fix the problem, not the blame.
Level 3. Aspiration. What do you desire, and why? Here’s what I see as a possible positive future. How can we help each other go further?
Level 4. Exploration. Rather than future focus, this level is about much deeper presence. Exploring new or seeing the familiar differently. Investigate ideas, surroundings, and possibilities.
And Level 5. Co-creation. At this highest level, we affirm and elevate each other’s input. We incorporate contributions, creating a new, shared experience.
What rung are you on now? Where do you spend most of your conversational energy? And what might happen if you ascend your conversation ladder?
Not everyone will be willing to level up with you. But if you raise your intentions and extend a lifting hand, you will likely deepen relationships and enrich your work and life. So until next week, climb that conversation ladder, and stay Off Balance On Purpose.