People often ask me “Dan, how is it you’re always so positive?” First off, that isn’t true. Like you, I can get sucked into negativity at times or fixate on fear. The difference perhaps is I’ve learned how to recognize and disrupt those states and techniques to quickly reorient to more empowering perspectives. I call these skills “positive practices;” as like anything worthwhile, they take some reps to develop.
Your first positive practice is to Seize Responsibility. Regardless of what happens, good or bad, proceed as if you have a measure of responsibility and are accountable for what happens next. Note I said “as if,” because it doesn’t really matter if it’s true. Seizing responsibility allows you to immediately own the learning from mistakes and misfortune and bank the confidence from what goes well.
This one change will set you apart in dramatic contrast from today’s more prevalent mindset: Victimhood – the belief that you have justifiable reason to place blame on others or unfortunate circumstances. And you know, I feel sorry for those who are trapped in this mindset, as it really is a victim-hood, a shroud or blindfold that removes your awareness and restricts your ability to function.
Let me be clear. It doesn’t really matter who caused your troubles, or what random events brought them on. The moment you seize your responsibility, you remove your blindfold. You become more self aware and more capable of taking positive steps forward.
Like I often say, juggling isn’t about the catches so much as the throws. If your throws are accurate, the catches tend to happen. But you can’t make the right throws without first taking responsibility and then taking aim toward ideal targets.
So what might this look like when it comes to responsibility? Well, you could ask: How did I invite this? Create this? Or contribute in some way? You might face facts. I know better. I lost my way or violated my principles.
Ask What did I miss? Recognize. You know – I continue to bring this about in my life. Retrace your steps and ask, is there one thing would would have changed the outcome? Then write a new rule going forward. That’s accountability.
Shedding the victim-hood removes the excuses. But it also reveals better options, opportunities, and Positive Practices of your own.
So until next week, seize responsibility, and stay Off Balance On Purpose.