If you’ve been struggling to reach that next level of success, health, or happiness, I have some (possibly) unexpected advice. Stop trying.
If you’ve been struggling to reach that next level of success, health, or happiness, I have some (possibly) unexpected advice. Stop trying.
Have you thought or said a version of the following sentiments? I’m going to try to be a better person. A better leader, parent, spouse, or friend. I’m going to try to be healthier, or really try to improve results.
The concept of “trying” attempts to earn credit, while lending responsibility, as if outcomes are somehow outside your influence.
Yet these are not mysteries. To become better, in any respect, we must first define it, by setting our aim, then find proven examples of what to do, over a progression of time, to get there. It’s not about trying harder, but likely about one or more of these three factors:
1. Not knowing. If what you’ve been trying isn’t working, your premise about what works is wrong. This isn’t a criticism, just a signal that you need to stop trying what you are doing to learn what does work, and do that.
2. Seriousness. If you find yourself perpetually trying, you may not be willing to do what it takes. And if that’s the case, that’s totally okay and important to realize. Release yourself and others from the insanity of pretending you’re serious when you’re not.
3. Feeling Undeserving. Trying, failing, and being frustrated is a continuous pattern for those who won’t learn, and also for those who, at their core, don’t feel deserving. If you feel you don’t deserve to win, get ahead, be in shape, be happy, or be taken seriously, you will act to reinforce those unspoken beliefs. Now, if this is you, there’s deeper work to do to release the bottleneck to your breakthrough.
So, seriously, persist, but stop trying. Become the person who deserves better by learning and doing what it takes to get there. Please share this with someone who, like us, needs to hear it. And until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.