Does being worried really help you? Or does it prevent you from doing what’s needed? This week we’re Off Balance On Purpose in New Bern, NC.
“Don’t worry about it.” Great advice… unless you’re worried. In which case it’s terrible advice. Being worried and trying to fight it, only makes it worse. Worry is just another flavor of stress, and affects your physical and mental health, your sleep, your productivity, and your temperament.
Worrying is one the least productive activities you could select. And it also makes you less resourceful. But it serves a purpose. When we worry we confirm that we care, and feel that we’re doing something meaningful. You’re worrying. But are you really improving anything?
Try this strategy to regain control of your thinking and results. Worry later. When you feel the worry thoughts coming on – the anxiety, uncertainty and fear – acknowledge that it’s happening, that it’s part of your process, and reveals that you care. And then use that feeling as a cue to act now, and worry later.
You may find, rather quickly, that this technique allows you to redirect energy and thinking into more positive actions. Work the problem. Make progress. Build confidence by doing what’s necessary, rather than worrying if it will be enough. Just do that part later.
And if there’s no action you can take to address the worry, then live your life, improve yourself. And worry later. And if that sounds harsh, you might be confusing “worry” with concern, or love, thinking “if I don’t worry, then I don’t care enough.” Wrong! You can care deeply about your job, or your children’s future. And that does not help you now or them later. So feel it, postpone it, and act.
Continue to hit the snooze button on your worry alarm, and you might find that you’re quite comfortable postponing it indefinitely while you handle more of what you can control, and let go of what you can’t. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.
Well done Dan! I am 58 and I worry a lot less now than I used to. It is because of a change in my mind set – basically as you demonstrated. I worried a lot more when I was a younger Manager with young children. Even triggering to anxiety on rare occasion. I think if an individual can always work on improved personal maturity ALONG WITH business maturity – you can break up your worries into little pieces and manage that challenge or problem with persistence. I always told my children that those feelings of worry or anxiety you feel is “between your own ears”. They didn’t like that. But I would go on to explain, it is how your mind is rationalizing the problem and turning it into fear, panic or worryl. When my daughter turned 23… she called me up one day and said… Dad, I finally get it! You were right!
What great words to hear from a child… as a parent!! Right??
Thanks again!
Have you done a session on the damage from gossip in the work place! I have to manage that in our Hospitality work place often.
I met you a number of years ago at the Springer-Miller HUG (Host Users Conference)… when you spoke to us…
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Haha i wish my wife would watch this, she thinks because I seem not worried, that I don’t care about the problems.
Feel free to share it, Tak. Be sensitive and attentive to how she feels, and use the video to start a conversation. And, please, say hello for me!
Well done Dan! I am 58 and I worry a lot less now than I used to. It is because of a change in my mind set – basically as you demonstrated. I worried a lot more when I was a younger Manager with young children. Even triggering to anxiety on rare occasion. I think if an individual can always work on improved personal maturity ALONG WITH business maturity – you can break up your worries into little pieces and manage that challenge or problem with persistence. I always told my children that those feelings of worry or anxiety you feel is “between your own ears”. They didn’t like that. But I would go on to explain, it is how your mind is rationalizing the problem and turning it into fear, panic or worryl. When my daughter turned 23… she called me up one day and said… Dad, I finally get it! You were right!
What great words to hear from a child… as a parent!! Right??
Thanks again!
Have you done a session on the damage from gossip in the work place! I have to manage that in our Hospitality work place often.
I met you a number of years ago at the Springer-Miller HUG (Host Users Conference)… when you spoke to us…